Saturday, August 12, 2017
The New Song Completed hr597
At long last, my new song is finally complete. It took about five years
to finish it, which seemed too long, but my previous song took more.
That previous song of mine was my everything. I had always craved just
one song that I could think I was born to write, that represented
myself, my life. The song was exactly what I had been after. Since I put
everything I had into the song, I was almost going to retire when I
finished it. I said all things I had wanted to say to the world and
summoned up all skills I had to the maximum in the song. I thought I had
nothing left in me. But once I tried to retire, I found myself at a
loss. Nothing except for music interested me. I also realized I couldn’t
do anything well other than music. I decided to continue writing songs
and singing, by way of retirement. I set about my new song with an easy
mindset intending to make light work of it because I considered my chief
song done. However, it didn’t go that way. As I went on, I couldn’t
help working seriously. My easy attitude toward the new song quickly
vanished. The more I worked on the song, the deeper I was in it. The
concept of retirement was simply pushed away. I even revised the words
and the song became profound. I was as focused and eagerly desired
perfection as for the previous song. As a result, it took five years
while at first I had meant to finish it in a week. I put everything I
had again in the end, and I was filled with rapture that I didn’t feel
in my everyday life when the new song was completed. The feeling
lingered for several days and I didn’t feel like doing anything. It was
like all energy was drained out of me and I was absent-minded all the
time. It seemed I lost my concentration as a whole. I knocked off a
glass and wasted my drink that I never do, though I’m clumsy and a
regular dropper. Even my bowels were loose. The completion of a song
doesn’t necessarily mean all the work is over. I need to make a backup
of all data, store them, convert to several different formats, release
publicly, arrange distribution, and so on. Although those mountainous
tasks of post production await me, I still have a thick head and haven’t
gotten down to it for a few weeks now. I noticed that I was less
anxious to release and promote my new song than before. I used to get
down to post production right after a new song was completed so as to
make it public quickly. But I don’t have zest for it as I did before.
It’s probably because I don’t expect the world so much any more and my
trust in human beings has decreased over the years. I’ve learned that
songs in which I do my best and with which I’m satisfied completely
don’t have to do with the market. My previous song proved it. The song
was fruition in which I got a real sense of fulfillment. Yet, it was
totally disregarded by this world. I get used to seeing my songs ignored
and my expectations failed. Big sales or admiration are no longer such a
big deal to me. I just wish my new song would reach someone and help
her or him in some way when it’s released a few months later. I hope my
songs are heard by those who need them, and play an important role in
their lives. I believe it will happen, somehow…
Labels:
Music,
musician,
new song,
Singer and Songwriter,
singer-song writer,
sound effect,
streaming,
work,
worry
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