Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.104

You must be weary of reading about my dreams by now, but, I had an absolutely shocking dream just last night and have to write about it. I had a gathering with my relatives in a temple. A monk declared to hand out an envelope to the ones whose remaining days of life is 25 years. He handed it to my uncle. He received it cheerfully, saying that it was longer than he had thought. Then, the monk handed the envelope to ME! I choked with shock. I got pronounced that the rest of my life was only 25 years! For some reason, I'd always felt that I would live long and that short life never crossed my mind. I felt devastated and woke up. I can shrug it off as one of scary dreams, but as I've written, some of my dreams do tell the future. None of them has related to me so far, but what if this dream is the first future-telling one that concerns me?...

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.103

Speaking of dreams, I have one that foresees something once in a while. Back in high school, I needed to go to school for my extracurricular activity during a summer break. The teacher on duty was randomly selected for the day. I saw a teacher of a Japanese class on duty wearing a peculiar tie in my dream. And the very next day, that teacher was on duty at school, wearing the exact tie I'd seen. I saw the members of my favorite band go away in two separate vehicles, and a few weeks later, the band broke up in the way exactly how I'd seen. An big earthquake occurred and an old Japanese house was flattened in my dream. I saw the future date for it, too. Two weeks earlier than that date, an earthquake actually occurred in northern Japan, and I saw the flattened house on TV. On the date of the dream, instead of an earthquake, the stock market tumbled. In each case, nothing worked for my benefit, because it was too trivial, or happened remotely, or I don't have stocks. Worthless dreams...

Friday, January 29, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.102

One day, I saw numbers in my dream. I dream a lot every night, but numbers rarely appear. I thought it was some sort of sign, and bought a lottery ticket. I won $10. A few weeks later, I dreamed about numbers again, and bought a ticket accordingly. I won $100. I was convinced this was it. This must be the way for me to become a millionaire. Since then, I've kept buying a lottery ticket every week, but with no luck at all. For the first time in almost a year, I won $10 yesterday. The sum dropped off. And the total spending for the lottery has become incomparably much more than I gained...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.101

A long time ago, when Japan had the feudal system, my family was a landlord of the area. It has come to a complete downfall over the years, but my family still clings to its past glory. For them, to succeed the family is critical. I'm firstborn and have no brother which meant that I was a successor and destined to spend the whole life in my hometown. But music changed everything. To pursue a career in music, my hometown was too rural and I had to move out. Back then I was a college student and moving to a city meant dropping out of school. My parents fiercely opposed but as usual, they left the matter to my grandfather who controlled the family. Considering his way to keep a tight rein, everybody including myself thought he might kill me. I could have run away, but I wanted to tell him for once what I want to do for my life. He answered right away 'You can go.' He added, 'You earned it by yourself. I've watched you all your life and I know you. That's why I let you do what you want.' Although I had always looked for a way to get rid of him, it was him who made me free and what I am now...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.100

My grandfather used to say that he would live until 100 years old. When I was a child and lived with him, I hated him. He was a dictator of my family. My grandmother, my parents, my younger sister and I lived with him cowering and flattering him because we were afraid of him. He wielded absolute power over us and nobody could oppose him. We needed his permission for anything. For instance, when I wanted a puppy, my petition was rejected because he said, 'This is my house.' As a child, I thought his existence immensely violated my freedom and was hoping that he would not live so long. He liked going out and sometimes took me to a department store. It had never been a pleasant outing. He was stingy. He would go to a department store just for browsing without buying anything, wearing a ragged jacket and worn-out shoes. For lunch, he would order the lowest price dish and share it with me. And he would tell me to fill my stomach with tea because tea was free there. He couldn't make it to 100 and passed away at the age of 96. My family agrees that I'm the one who have the character just like him...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.99

I worked on the chorus tracks of our new song today. It takes much more time and work than I planned. Adjusting the volume balances and setting the effectors, I needed to work so elaborately with my PC. When I was completely absorbed in numbers of the parameters, an error message appeared out of the blue and the PC shut down by itself. I screamed. I didn't understand what had just happened. I thought the PC crashed and all the data of the new song were gone. My heart was pounding with fear and the next moment, the PC rebooted. Thankfully, everything was intact except for today's work. It's nothing compared to the dread of losing everything. I entered the numbers again and restored today's work. What a scare! A computer is a scary thing, really...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.98

I edited TV shows and burned them on DVDs yesterday. As I've written here before, I like recording shows more than actually watching them. The most fun part for me is editing. It's so bracing to remove impurities and store the pick of the shows to my taste by deleting commercials and unimportant scenes. Almost all of my collection is from US TV dramas, sitcoms, and Japanese variety shows. My DVDs contain the shows or the scenes strictly selected by me and considered worth saving. The volume is growing, but the content is mostly the scenes of a Japanese comedian who trips or falls over something, and the ones of a mascot, a space shuttle, and a Japanese bullet train...

Friday, January 22, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.97

Last night, I had a nightmare. In it, I got up and found myself alone. I was a child still living living with my family in my hometown. My parents and my little sister came back from McDonald's. They had breakfast there without me. I grabbed my mother's arms and said, 'Listen to me! Listen to me very carefully!! You must treat your kids equally! Whatever you do to my little sister, you should do the same to me! You can't keep doing nice things only to her! Besides, how could you bring home nothing for me? It's McDonald's where you can get take-out!!' But, no matter how hard I tried, my voice didn't come out. I repeated those words very hard again and again but only my mouth was moving. In the end, I shouted at the top of my throat, and awoke from the dream. I'm still exhausted. I dream a lot every night. And this one is one of the repeated dreams. Although the details are different, I am ignored by my parents and left alone each time. I'm fed up with this kind of dream but I know I will soon have it again. When am I released from this...?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.96

I bought groceries at an online supermarket yesterday. I like online shopping in general, and grocery shopping above all. Here, you spend $40 more and the shipping is free. My policy is to get an item at its lowest price among both physical and virtual stores, and looking around them and accumulating to $40 is like playing a game. Also, they throw in a freebie occasionally such as a magnet, a notepad, or a can of cocktail which I got for free yesterday. Hurray for technology! My shopping is done online more and more and the necessity of going out has become less. Combined with the cold of the winter, I have stayed indoors for days now. And today, I gained one pound...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.95

Eight years ago today, I moved into this apartment. There are things that I like about it such as the utilities-included rent, the unique design, and the view. It has the flip side though. Every time the wind blows, TV is down. The roof is so thin that raindrops sound like the percussion. The walls are also thin and even subtle sounds I make trigger the neighbor's banging. Those things keep me looking for a better place constantly. Each and every place has a flaw. Too dense, too rural. At least one side of the place borders the next-door neighbor. It seems that an ideal place for me to live in doesn't exist. Well, to begin with, is there such thing as an ideal place to live in on this planet...?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.94

'The O.C. Season 3' started streaming online for free. The season finale of its last season was shocking and I really wanted to know how the story would develop. Ryan goes to jail? Or Melissa does? I made a lot of possible stories as my prediction. I even had a dream about it, in which I joined in a story as myself and talked to Seth. In any case of my predictions, I thought the last episode had changed the series completely and the season 3 would never be the same. I spent three days fretting about the new season and felt sorry for those who watched it when it was first aired, because for them, it was three months. It seemed impossible for me to wait any longer and I jumped on my PC to watch the season opener. On the contrary, the matter was easily settled within a first episode. I want my three days back...

Monday, January 18, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.93

I visited a local temple for what was called 'hatsumode'. It means to visit a temple or a shrine to pray for good luck after the new year comes, and is a major event of New Year's in Japan. People do it during the first three days of New Year's. Famous shrines and temples are packed with thousands of visitors. I hate a crowded place and being bound with a fixed schedule, so I go to a nearby temple at anytime in January. Before praying, you should put money in a wooden box set in front of a building. While they put a 10-yen coin, a 100-yen coin or a bill in some cases, I always put a one-yen coin and take some time to pray. Maybe I take a longer time than anyone else, praying and bowing repeatedly. Too many wishes for one yen...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.92

As I wrote yesterday, I went shopping for a closing sale of a store, which was going out of business after over 30 years. The store usually has sparse customers but its closing sale changed it completely. The floor was filled with people who waited in a long line at the checkout with a basketful of clothing. I had never seen so many shoppers in that store. I bought knitted caps at $3 each marked down from $20 and scarfs at $2 from $20. And I noticed there were only few younger people in the store. They were all elderly people around me. A large number of aged people were shopping around so vigorously. I don't see such lively old people so often. Was the store aimed for elderly people? If so, my taste for clothing is similar to them...

Friday, January 15, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.91

The New Year's celebration was officially over. I took down the decorations today. Then I finished watching all episodes of 'The O.C. Season 2', thus, I reached the goal of my OC marathon today. And I heard the news that my most favorite supermarket would be withdrawn from Japan. It's called Carrefour and from France. I really loved shopping there with their French taste goods and foods in a spacious place. After writing this, I'm going to another store which is closing for good tomorrow for my last shopping there. This is one of those days that everything strangely clicks at the same time. As for New Year's, people had already stopped celebrating long before and I was probably the last one still in a New Year's mood...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.90

At the end of the last year, I won a prize drawing of a snack company and got a boxful of potatoes. I was very pleased to receive it but I had forgotten that I wasn't a frequent cook. I finally found time to cook potatoes yesterday. The potatoes have already begun to bud. I've heard that a potato's bud is poisonous and I was afraid enough to decide to eat them as soon as possible. I cooked them into tempura. The whole dinner was potato tempura. It was delicious, but eating from a mountain of potato tempura, it looked more and more like a confrontation. The leftovers still sit in the fridge and there are a lot more potatoes in the box waiting for me. They should have been a prize, not a punishment...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.89

The goal of my OC marathon is drawing near. I watched another three episodes of 'The O.C. Season 2' today. They were about Ryan's brother. I have a younger sister with whom I don't get along at all. After a number of unpleasant incidents over the years, I've developed a terrible relationship with her. I don't even talk to her anymore. When we were kids, I took care of her because my parents were busy with work. I looked after her carefully, teaching her to have fun, but she has grown to be a proud and prim adult, and, above all, to be my parents' favorite to live with them in my hometown. Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong with her. And I know they wonder vice versa, what went wrong with me...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.88

To my big surprise, my blog got the first comment and two more kudos. It was a totally unexpected event for me. You never know how grateful I am. Though I am just rambling what happened to me on and on, someone is kind enough to give me a nice gesture. Now I should repay you with good posts. That thought led me to huge pressure and I can't find what to write. Usually I've got a lot of things I want to write about, but today, nothing but pressure. And that's only because of one comment and a few kudos. What a small person I am...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.87

My OC marathon is going on. I watch three episodes of 'The O.C. Season 2' every night before going to sleep. PCH often appears on the show. Before I lived in OC, I had visited there as a traveler. First time in OC, I transferred a local bus at the entrance of Balboa Island on PCH. There was nobody but a man wearing sunglasses at the bus stop. He talked to me about the bus being late. As a person who fears everything, I started panicking with bad imaginations. What if he is a serial killer? I'm wearing cheap clothes but he must know I'm a traveler and have traveler's checks. Isn't this a perfect place for murder with no buildings or people around and just the bush behind the bus stop? I was about to be sure I would be killed here by this man, when he began to rummage through his big bag. Now I was more than sure it would be a gun. My fear culminated when he held out something to me. It was a pack of biscuits. 'I got three packs for a dollar! Good deal, huh? Take one, I've got plenty!', he said, and the bus came. He was just a kind, friendly man and I was a paranoid traveler. Those were the best biscuits I'd ever had...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.86

The expiration date for free online viewing of 'The O.C. Season 2' is approaching and that led me to an OC marathon. I watched three episodes today too. Watching 'The O.C.' evokes my memories because I used to live in OC. My apartment was in Anaheim and I would often go to the mall in Newport Beach. A big difference between my life and the show is that I didn't get there by one of those gorgeous cars. I always took the free shuttle van of the mall. The van was a completely ragged, worn-out vehicle which seemed to be a miracle to run so fast on Interstate 5. The windows, interior, the floor and the door all clattered and looked on the verge of falling apart. In a way, it was totally a thrill ride. But I should thank that van for what I owe. My new song for which I have been working now was born in that shabby van...

Friday, January 8, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.85

I awoke exhausted. I felt all energy was drained out. My strain of the holiday season had snapped and I thought that was the reason. Finally I found a website where I could watch US TV shows in Japan for free and I watched 'The O.C. Season 2' online last night. As they have an expiration date for viewing, I watched three episodes at a stretch before going to sleep. Another possible reason for exhaustion is the intense hearing of English for many hours. My physical strength is not enough even for TV...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.84 Jan 8, 2010

I watched a DVD of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' yesterday and I was amazed. There was a scene that Larry, who wasn't in the car, tried to order on the drive-thru line of a fast food restaurant, which was closed for the day except for the drive-thru. That is exactly what I have tried to do for several times and managed to stop doing because my partner begged me intensely not to do it each time. Somebody thinks just like me about the drive-thru and I am not the only one! In 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', Larry often does what I have done in the past or feels how I feel about a certain thing. There are a lot of cool characters on TV shows but why him?...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.83 Jan 7, 2010

Today I stowed away my Christmas tree and the decorations, and my melancholy reached the peak. At least I still have the New Year's decorations because New Year's celebrations continue through the 15th of January on a local custom of my hometown, while people here around me end the celebrations much sooner. To cheer me up, I began the countdown to the next Christmas. 353 days to go...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.82 Jan 6, 2010

I got a broiled porgy at 75% off at the supermarket. A porgy is a symbol of good luck in Japan, and they eat it to celebrate something. The reason is simple. 'Porgy' is said 'Tai' in Japanese, and 'Medetai' means auspicious. So, it really is a pun. New Year's is an ideal occasion to eat a porgy. I felt extra lucky to get it only at $4, but soon came to myself. A porgy's price dropped because the holiday season is over. Why am I feeling down eating an auspicious fish?...

Monday, January 4, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.81 Jan 5, 2010

The holiday season is coming to an end. People are stowing away the New Year's decorations, TV stations are airing the usual programming, everything is back to normal and I feel blue. For a change, I went to the mall today. I had a sub at Subway. For a discount, I looked up online coupons with my cell phone. The coupons were all expired. Instead of a discount, I paid the data communication fee...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.80 Jan 3, 2010

The first three days of the year are a major holiday in Japan. People go shopping for a so-called Happy Bag. It's an assortment bag of merchandise, which is worth several times as much as it's price and only available this time of year. The catch is you don't know what's inside. Some of the bags show its contents but basically, it's a surprise. To save money, I get a few Happy Bags of accessories every year. Thanks to them, I have got many accessories worth much more than I actually paid. The bags usually contain quite a lot of earrings besides rings or necklaces, but I don't have my ears pierced. I have numerous earrings I can't even wear...

Friday, January 1, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.79 Jan 2, 2010

Unlike Christmas cards, Japanese New Year cards arrive all at once on New Year's Day morning. I used to live with my grandfather and it was his biggest delight to take all cards for the whole family from our mail drop and sort them by family member's name. He kept a log of the number of cards that each of us received every year. To him, the number reflected power in our family. The one who received most cards had the biggest power. That was him every year because he represented our family. Distributing the sorted cards, he would announce proudly the standings of the year. My personal record was 63 cards when I was sixteen, and I got the second place to my grandfather, ahead of my father that year. Time has passed, I left home, my grandfather passed away, and the stupid competition ended. By the way, this year the number of New Year's cards for me was zero...