Saturday, May 29, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.185

My moving plan is still alive. The most possible property I’ve found and liked so far is the one located in the snowy countryside surrounded by mountains. It stands alone in the woods and there’s no house, building, or shop around it. It takes 50 minutes by bus to get to the closest town. So, it’s like the one in that scary novel, ‘The Shining’ by Stephen King. It’s completely secluded and away from people. Because of how it’s located, it meets my low price range. If I moved in that place, I could finally get rid of this crazy society and concentrate on writing songs. Sounds ideal for me. There, only one road leads to the town, weaving through the mountains. If a landslide or a snowslide occurred and blocked the road, I would lose the way to get food and might die there without being found. I’m terrified at the thought of that. Am I left with no choice but to stick to this mad society and live among people, after all…?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.184

My conventional phone has been broken for a couple of months now. The phone line is fine but my phone makes a loud ragged noise constantly from the receiver and I can’t put it to my ear. It doesn’t receive a call for the answering machine any more, either. It’s favorable for me, though. I really, really hate the telephone. I’ve rarely got the good news by it and usually feel very unpleasant by the time I hang up. It’s probably because I don’t have a friend who calls and only few calls I occasionally get are mostly from my parents. Those calls are the worst. But, with a broken phone, I won’t receive nor make a call, hence, peaceful days. I have a cell phone for an emergency and I don’t need its calling function normally. The other day, I needed to make an inquiry about the delivery time for what I had ordered. Since my phone was broken, they called me back to my cell phone. But when it came, I realized I didn’t know how to answer it. I’ve used a cell phone for two and a half years and had never answered a single phone call…

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.183

I’ve been exploring my new cell phone and setting it up to my liking, such as switching a display language from Japanese to English and a call receiving sound from a piece of music to a normal chime. The phone has a great deal of functions. I can browse websites on the Internet with it, or use it as a train ticket by placing it over the ticket gate at a station. It also has a Second Life-like simulation game in which I can live in and stroll around Paris. I could use those but I don’t because they’re all charged. The plan I’ve signed up is the most inexpensive one that I pay the basic monthly fee of $8 plus the charge per communication use. So, the charged services cost me. Most of the phone’s fantastic features require the communication charges. Other than getting discount coupons via e-mail, I only use its free features like checking news headlines, horoscopes and weather, and using the address book as a lowest price list sorted according to stores. That’s how I enjoy this high-tech, function-filled cell phone…

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.182

Technology is amazing. My new computer arrived in less than 24 hours after I placed an order. A computer is a faithful band member to me. It plays exactly as I ask for and it’s a brilliant multi player. The best thing is it never quits the band. I have countless band members who came and left. Every time we failed an audition, somebody in my band wanted to quit and left. In some cases, they just quit because they wanted to get a ‘real’ job. I’m a person of staying power for music and quitting the band has never crossed my mind to date. After all, only my partner and I were left as human beings in the band except for computers and we’ve stayed this way for years. And now, another member joined our band in the shape of a computer. When I opened the box, the letters on a leaflet caught my eye. It said, ‘It starts here.’ I hope a lot of good things start here, with this new computer. Well, as things start here, the payment also starts here…

Monday, May 24, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.181

As my work for our new song is coming close to an end, I’m preparing for the next song as well. I’ve already written the song but the long, time-consuming process of the arrangement awaits me. For the arrangement, I need a new computer. The one I’ve been using now is seven years old and it’s too risky to rely on it completely. Its specs are obsolete, too. And I don’t know how long it will take to finish the next song. I’ve had my eye on a certain model of HP for my new computer and an online shop started the special sale for that particular model by reducing its price drastically over the weekend. I bought it yesterday and took delivery of it today. I got it much sooner than I had originally planned. I’m so excited to have a new computer but now I remember that I haven’t finished my current project yet on my old computer…

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.180

Today is the day that I’ve been waiting for since last December. A cable channel has the premiere of ‘LOST Final Season’ tonight, finally. Did the hydrogen bomb go off? Is Juliet alive? I heard the title of the first episode was ‘LAX’. Does that mean the plane safely landed at LAX instead of crashing on the island? Those who live in the U.S. blessedly know the answers already, but I’ve been tortured by the countless questions for almost half a year in Japan. I happened to look at the rating chart of ‘LOST’ at Wikipedia and the rating is getting lower as the series goes through the seasons. I can’t believe there are people who stopped watching that interesting show. For the premiere, I’m preparing snacks, food and drink. As the part of the special premiere, they will air the first episode of a new drama, ‘Flash Forward’ too. It’s going to be an exciting night for me but I’m already afraid of days afterward. It’s only a premiere and they’re going to start airing the show regularly in July. I’ll have to wait for more than a month for the second episode. Another excruciating waiting days are ahead…

Friday, May 21, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.179

When I was a teenager, I always wanted to be a singer-songwriter but I was inclined to become a mixer at one time. That was mainly because I believed that I was too ugly to be a singer-songwriter and should work behind the scenes in the music business. Also, I was a big fan of a Japanese band called Tulip then and I thought working as a mixer was the only way to get close to them. Besides, a person who worked on the console at a recording studio or a concert hall looked so cool to me. When I was a senior in high school, there was a course guidance book in the classroom. I looked up how to become a mixer in it. A few technical colleges were introduced there but they required a high score on physics. I was good at math, but in physics, I had no hope. So, I couldn’t find a way to be a mixer. Time passed, I noticed that I’ve been sitting at the computer console alone for the mix down of my new song all the time lately. It can mean that my dream came true after all. Only one thing is missing. I get no pay…

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.178

I had a dream about my grandparents on my mother’s side last night. Both of them have passed away, my grandfather 9 years ago and my grandmother 8 months ago. I attended both funerals but I didn’t cry there because I was nervous about meeting a lot of relatives and ritual customs that I had to follow. It was quite later on when a sad feeling of having lost them sank in. In the dream, I was having dinner with my grandparents and some relatives. All of us knew my grandparents would soon die and it was a farewell party for them. They were sitting at the table, smiling, and seemed very happy although they also knew this would be the last time to get together. While I was talking to them casually, I got suddenly swept over by the fact that this was the last time to see them and talk with them. I felt madly that I didn’t want to lose them. Then, tears spurted from my eyes like a cartoon. I tried to stop them with my hands but they were spurting too strongly. I woke up. I had never shed that large amount of tears before in my dream. Maybe I had this dream because I missed them badly, or, because I got drenched in the rain yesterday on my way home from Costco and the wet sensation still remained on my face…

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.177

It’s raining with a strong wind. But even the bad weather didn’t hinder me from going to Costco. There, I mainly get prepared foods. They carry them by a large volume at impossibly low prices. Those who live in the U.S. may regard it as the norm and they never know how happy I feel to see American-sized foods sold at low prices since we usually buy food by a very small portion at high prices in Japan. Costco is full of what I want to get and it’s very difficult for me to be self-controlled. I can get only few items at a time for several reasons. For one, my fridge is very small. And, I can’t eat that much for every meal. Then, there are clear limitations to carry them back home by bus and train, as I don’t have a car. Thus, I have to select carefully what I get for the day and that’s so hard because everything there is very attractive. Today, I reluctantly gave up most items and got only a few kinds of food as usual. But as being American-sized, they easily took up my hands and ability to carry and didn’t give me any room to hold an umbrella in the rain. I came home soaking wet…

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.176

I’m attached to my stuff once I get them and use them for many years. When I got my first cell phone two and a half years ago, I intended to use it for the rest of my life. I had treated it with care, even with leaving a protective film still on over the display screen. But a letter from a cell phone company disrupted my entire plan. It said that my cell phone would soon become useless because of some protocol change. In compensation, they offered a much lower rates and a big discount to the new phone. It’s almost free. So, I got a new one. When I tried to charge the battery of it, I found that they had changed the configuration of a battery charger. I strongly doubt if it was really necessary. My cell phone charger has also become useless. I remembered that I had put a wind-up generator into my emergency bag and charged the battery by winding the handle of the generator. The new cell phone was turned on and my arm was strained. I realized I couldn’t repeat this for the rest of my life and bought a new battery charger. My arm is still aching…

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.175

The weekend of Monaco GP has come. As an avid fan of Formula One racing, Monaco is a special place for me. To live there is my dream. When I was younger, I worked for my music in order to live there. I even told my late grandparents that I would take them there if I made a big success with music. Now, both of them have passed away without going there and I’ve found the right purpose of music. But watching beautiful Formula One cars weave through the breathtaking Monaco, I nearly lose my principles from the desire every year. No, I’m done being stupid. Even so, it’s Monaco, I do want to live there someday…

Friday, May 14, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.174

I went to Costco again today. I had a hot dog and a slice of pizza at the food court there for the first time. They had incredibly low prices and had the exactly similar taste to the ones I used to have in the U.S. The store also has the smell of U.S. I think people living there don’t ever notice but supermarkets of U.S. have unique smell, which is very different from Japanese supermarkets. I could tell instantly by the smell which country’s supermarket it is even if I entered blindfolded. While I was eating at the food court, I felt back in time when I lived in the U.S. The similar taste and smell gave me an illusion that I still lived there. But one big difference reminded me that this was Japan. The clerks have good attitudes. The hot dog came with an all-you-can-drink soft drink that Japanese food courts don’t have, and I didn’t get how to draw a straw from the container. While I was confused in front of it, a man standing next to me nimbly pushed down the bottom receiver and a straw came out. Now I recollected the American way after being embarrassed…

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.173

Since I shopped at Costco for the first time, I’ve been still in shock at their low prices and thinking about it all the time. I had decided to move out this apartment after getting some signs for that and had narrowed down the possible areas. But none of them has Costco nearby. I can’t give up the pleasure to shop at those low prices. And it’s a rare store where I can get products from the U.S. that I really like. Inside Costco, there is a very small, compact U.S. It’s the easiest way to visit the U.S., in a way. Now that I knew Costco and became a member, I should move to the area close enough to shop there. So, my selection of the place to live went back to the starting point. Costco is beginning to take control of my life…

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.172

It was my partner’s birthday yesterday. I got up early, put out prepared foods we got at Costco, opened a bottle of sparkling wine and celebrated with a pound cake also from Costco. We watched the season finale of ‘Heroes Season 3’ and comedy shows. I made every effort to fill the party with fun. In the end, my partner asked me to relax and act normally. He felt pressured to have fun because of my tension and begged me to make him pressure-free on this particular day. I tend to go overboard on everything. To me, nothing is ever enough and I feel something missing all the time. I spend a lot of energy looking for the missing piece which may or may not exist. And as usual, I was exhausted by the end of his birthday…

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.171

I shopped at Costco for the first time yesterday. Costco has only 9 stores in Japan and it takes 80 minutes by train and bus for me to get to the closest one to where I live. Several years ago, when I first stopped by the store, I didn’t agree with the store policy that made a customer pay the annual membership fee to shop there. The fee was way too expensive for me. I had never visited the store since then. Recently I’ve found a few websites where I could get selected items from Costco and bought snacks and chocolates online because their prices were much lower than the ones of the supermarkets I usually shopped at. By this way, I was able to get Costco’s items without paying the membership fee and the not-so-cheap transportation cost. Last month, a credit card company sent me a one-day free passport to shop there as their promotion. So I went. I saw their actual prices and got stunned. They were impossibly low, beyond my imagination. I felt like I was in low-price wonderland. Even after adding the membership fee and the transportation cost, the prices were still much lower than the ones of online shops. I thought I had been saving money by shopping online but in reality, I had been losing it. I hurriedly became a member. I can’t believe I was passing through this wonderful place for years…

Friday, May 7, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.170

When I got down to mastering our new song yesterday, new ideas for the mix down struck me. But I’ve already declared the completion of the song. Trying the ideas means to return to the mix down again. I hesitated to do so because it really might throw me into an endless loop. I should accept closure for this project at some point or I would go on for the rest of my life. But, what if the ideas made the song drastically better? Can I leave the possibility untouched? I’m a master of regret and wonder if it could be escaped from being one of the big regrets of my life. I’ve got too many regrets and can’t afford any more. I decided to try them. My partner thought I had finished the mastering and brought him a master disc when I told him about going back to the mix down instead. He was planning a trip. The trip was postponed for an indefinite period…

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.169

I’m preparing for mastering of our new song and the question of the moment is where to store the master discs. After making a number of backup discs, where should I keep each one of them? I will put one at the doorway of my apartment so that I take it with me outside in case of an earthquake. But what if a fire broke out? Online data storage seems a safer solution. But what if its server crashed? For that case, do I need to use a depository box at a bank? What if Mt. Fuji erupted and burnt down Japan? I have a storage room in L. A. and I can store a disc there. But do I fly to L. A. just to bring one disc? I also have a storage space in Montreal but what if war broke out between U. S. and Canada? There seems no safe place to keep the master disc. It’s such a valuable enough thing to me to think about possibilities although the value to the world is unknown…

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.168

I was about to go to bed yesterday when I heard the ominous spattering sound in my room. Spring shifted to summer all of a sudden and I had turned on the air conditioner. The noise was a water leak from it. Beneath the air conditioner sits my PC with which I work for my music. I usually put plastic bags on the PC as a covering after each use and the water was dropping right down to it. It was a dreadful sight. I completely panicked and couldn’t figure out what to do first. Then I tried to turn off the air conditioner with a stereo remote. And I tried to grab a floor cloth to wipe up the water but couldn’t find my slippers. The PC holds our new song that had been finally completed yesterday after seven years. I thought the water was draining away the song and my seven years. Thankfully, the computer didn’t get wet while the monitor got a few droplets from the edge of the plastic cover. What are the odds that a water leak aiming at a PC happens on the same day when a song gets finished on the very PC? Is this some sort of a sign? Sign for what? Not to tweak the song any further? Or, to wipe the slate clean and start all over again? I couldn’t sleep well from thinking about it and from the heat without air conditioning…

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.167

I finished the mix down of our new song today. That means the song at long last got completed. I had worked on this song for seven years. I put into this song everything I have, everything I want to say to this world, and everything I’ve felt in my life. So, I’m virtually done. I celebrated with a bottle of sparkling wine instead of champagne that is too expensive for me. When opening the bottle, the plastic cork rocketed to the ceiling and made a mark. Still, the project is far from being over. I need to burn it on CDs, save it as several different kinds of format, and archive the data. I can see a long way to go before I get a sense of achievement…

Monday, May 3, 2010

Hidemi's Rambling No.166

Because I’m cheap, I’m always careful about money. So much so, it penetrates into my dreams. I had a dream about visiting NY the other night. I joined a bus tour for sightseeing. The bus stopped for a break and there was a drink vendor. It had freshly squeezed fruit juice along with soft drinks. Everyone from the tour enjoyed the juice. I was thirsty and tired, and the fresh juice seemed perfect. But it cost $3 more than soft drinks. I really wanted the juice, knowing that would be full of vitamins and good for health, but I also needed to save money for my uncertain future. I was torn by a mere $3. Eventually, I gave up the juice and ordered a soft drink, feeling envious of others who were having juice. I woke up and found that I had missed a golden opportunity to spend money extravagantly. Being in a dream is the only time that I can spend as much money as I want. One of the worst dreams for me is to save money in it. I pounded my bed from regret. I could have had delicious juice…