Sunday, September 23, 2012

Hidemi’s Rambling No.434

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The elementary school I attended had an open house for students’ parents twice a year. My mother had ordered me to answer the teacher’s questions by raising my hand to show off in front of other parents. I was a kid who didn’t answer the teacher’s questions in order to avoid contact with others even though I knew every single answer and usually got full marks in the test. So, an open house was an excruciating event for me because to obey my mother, I had to behave in the exact opposite way to my usual manner. Other kids noticed it and began to find out that I didn’t answer although I knew it. That and the fact the teacher often appointed me as a leader to help other students who didn’t do well at school while I tried not to talk to other kids, convinced them that I had looked down on them. It seemed they told their parents about it. On my way home from school one day, one of the parents of my classmates approached me. I had been used to being spoken to by a grown-up this way. In the case like this, they would say, “You’re the smartest girl at school!” I was certain that this woman would also admire me when she read my nameplate of the school on my chest and started, “I know who you are.” But on the contrary, she yelled harshly, “Don’t behave as you do! You can’t act like that just because you’re smart and your family is rich! Stop being conceited! Do you understand!?” I had never been rebuked by a stranger before. I was only a second-grader and her enmity and her angry face terrified me. She was so furious that her eyes turned white. My eyes were filled with tears. In less than a year, I began to talk to other kids at school. The reason was not the woman, though. I had a crush on a boy in my class and wanted to make a good impression on him. A simple magic like that was enough to break my silence…

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