The most luxurious hotel in my small, rustic town is not far from my
apartment. I visited there again the other day, not to stay the night
but to use the club lounge.
The club lounge is exclusive to a member of the hotel’s loyalty
program. The members can use it free of charge. The hotel has a regular
lounge for its guests which menu has heart-stopping prices. Nonetheless,
it was alive with customers who came to ski on the skiing slopes
adjacent to the hotel. At the entrance, just by telling the server that I
am a club member and flickering my membership card, she ushered me to
the back of the regular lounge. Behind the glass door is the club
lounge.
Once I stepped inside, I was in a heavenly place. Despite the
hurly-burly of the regular lounge, I had this secluded section to
myself. A cartridge coffee machine brewed freshly each cup. Bottles of
sparkling wine and club soda stood in the ice-filled silver cooler. Kiss
chocolates in silver wrappers, Hershey’s almond chocolates in gold
wrappers and packs of a specialty cookie were arrayed. The place used up
two-story-high vertical space and the wall-wide window reached to the
second floor ceiling. Out of it was a side of the snow-covered mountain.
I enjoyed sparkling wine in a flute glass as much as I want, sitting in
a cozy sofa. The thing is, I didn’t pay a dime for this service since
the membership fee is free. Other occasions I use my membership card
except for this lounge are when I travel to the city a couple of times a
year and stay at one of the same hotel chain to get its lowest rate.
Happiness seems to be enlarged 10 times when a gorgeous experience
costs none. I don’t think that the wealthy feel happy when they pay a
lot of money to use a luxurious hotel lounge because it’s how things
usually go. I’ve seen many rich people who don’t have a good time with a
frown no matter how expensive the place they are at is. My parents used
to be rich, but they were always unhappy and pulled a long face. The
schools I went to were exclusive Catholic schools, but the students and
their parents alike didn’t seem happy at all from any angles I could
have ever taken to observe them.
It’s an illusion that money brings happiness. I have just finished my
second book that I wrote disregarding big sales. Since I didn’t bother
about how many copies would sell, I had fun in all the processes such as
writing, an enormous amount of editing work and publishing. My
happiness is 100 times as much as the one that I felt when I was
desperate to be famous and rich.
A long time ago, I got in a facility of a soft drink company when I
visited Walt Disney World. The visitors there were allowed to drink a
various kinds of soft drink from the dispensers as much as they wanted
for free. The minute I entered the place, I noticed a strange
atmosphere. It was crowded, but people were all smiling. Each of them
was laughing, talking, jesting, and having fun with a small paper cup in
their hand. While I lived in U.S., it was the only place that I saw
people look joyful and relaxed without influences of alcohol or drugs.
Does wealth really make people happy? We can be happy without it if
we overcome fear and create the world where money doesn’t work on us. I
know, though, the way to happiness is of course long and hard...
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Friday, April 12, 2019
Saturday, September 15, 2018
A Bloody Smudge hr610
When I was in the shower the other night, a drop of rinsed water from my
body sponge spattered right into my right eye. I washed my eye in haste
over and over so as no to get germs. It was one of those things that
happen all the time in our daily life and I didn’t worry so much. I
actually had forgotten about it by the time I went to sleep.
The next morning I stood in front of the bathroom sink with sleepy eyes as usual and saw my face in the mirror. In it, my right eye had a large smudge of blood in the white. My drowsy brain got electrified and I was instantly wide awake. It wasn’t simply bloodshot but a stain of blood spread in the half of the eye. It was ominous enough to frighten me badly. I remembered the water spatter in the shower, but it seemed too small to cause this big damage.
Is this a foretaste of some kind of a serious disease? Is a heart attack or something imminent? Am I going blind? Do I need to rush to the hospital that I hate so much and always keep away? Besieged by all kinds of sinister questions, I remembered I’ve often heard a bad reputation that the only hospital in my small town in the mountains has no good equipment nor good doctors. At the same time, I remembered a scene in some movie I once saw in which a man had the similar bloody smudge in his eye when he was about to die.
I sat at the table for breakfast across my partner with a mountainous amount of fear. As soon as he glanced at me, he stopped crunching cereal and turned pale. I asked him what was wrong and he answered that it was my eye. He looked into it for a moment then said that his eye sight became white out and couldn’t see anything. He started sweating heavily and claimed that sweat didn’t stop pouring out. He left for the bathroom in the middle of breakfast.
His reaction threw me deeper in terror. My eye with a smudge of blood must have been so horrible that he became sick. Since he’s a big fan of a TV drama ‘The Walking Dead’, he may have thought one of the zombies finally came to reality and appeared to him. The situation was reversed and he looked more ill than I was. About ten minutes later, thankfully, he felt better and resumed his cereal.
I was anxious all day long. I imagined I might fall flat at any moment. I might go unconscious or blind. Even if I kept surviving, I couldn’t go outside with this eye on my face especially because I foolishly care my appearance too much. With fear clawing hold of me, I spent the day moving slowly and quietly as if I was living in total darkness.
In the evening, my partner who had looked up my symptom on the Internet told me it was perfectly nothing wrong and would disappear by itself gradually in one to two weeks. That sent me the light from above with the angels’ choir. It was nothing! Suddenly I felt like I breathe again, and couldn’t feel any stupider. I wondered why I didn’t look up online by myself first thing in the morning. I had been dreadful all day and wasted the day just for nothing. As it turned out, all I needed was to wait for the smudge to disappear. I would pass the coming one to two weeks by donning this eye, avoiding acquaintances, trying to see as less residents as possible on the hallway of my apartment building, wearing sunglasses when eating out, and generally hiding away. While I was relieved and cheerful about that I wasn’t ill, another depressing feeling seized me as I thought about my life in hiding for the coming weeks...
The next morning I stood in front of the bathroom sink with sleepy eyes as usual and saw my face in the mirror. In it, my right eye had a large smudge of blood in the white. My drowsy brain got electrified and I was instantly wide awake. It wasn’t simply bloodshot but a stain of blood spread in the half of the eye. It was ominous enough to frighten me badly. I remembered the water spatter in the shower, but it seemed too small to cause this big damage.
Is this a foretaste of some kind of a serious disease? Is a heart attack or something imminent? Am I going blind? Do I need to rush to the hospital that I hate so much and always keep away? Besieged by all kinds of sinister questions, I remembered I’ve often heard a bad reputation that the only hospital in my small town in the mountains has no good equipment nor good doctors. At the same time, I remembered a scene in some movie I once saw in which a man had the similar bloody smudge in his eye when he was about to die.
I sat at the table for breakfast across my partner with a mountainous amount of fear. As soon as he glanced at me, he stopped crunching cereal and turned pale. I asked him what was wrong and he answered that it was my eye. He looked into it for a moment then said that his eye sight became white out and couldn’t see anything. He started sweating heavily and claimed that sweat didn’t stop pouring out. He left for the bathroom in the middle of breakfast.
His reaction threw me deeper in terror. My eye with a smudge of blood must have been so horrible that he became sick. Since he’s a big fan of a TV drama ‘The Walking Dead’, he may have thought one of the zombies finally came to reality and appeared to him. The situation was reversed and he looked more ill than I was. About ten minutes later, thankfully, he felt better and resumed his cereal.
I was anxious all day long. I imagined I might fall flat at any moment. I might go unconscious or blind. Even if I kept surviving, I couldn’t go outside with this eye on my face especially because I foolishly care my appearance too much. With fear clawing hold of me, I spent the day moving slowly and quietly as if I was living in total darkness.
In the evening, my partner who had looked up my symptom on the Internet told me it was perfectly nothing wrong and would disappear by itself gradually in one to two weeks. That sent me the light from above with the angels’ choir. It was nothing! Suddenly I felt like I breathe again, and couldn’t feel any stupider. I wondered why I didn’t look up online by myself first thing in the morning. I had been dreadful all day and wasted the day just for nothing. As it turned out, all I needed was to wait for the smudge to disappear. I would pass the coming one to two weeks by donning this eye, avoiding acquaintances, trying to see as less residents as possible on the hallway of my apartment building, wearing sunglasses when eating out, and generally hiding away. While I was relieved and cheerful about that I wasn’t ill, another depressing feeling seized me as I thought about my life in hiding for the coming weeks...
Labels:
blood,
darkness,
die,
fear,
hospital,
nothing,
pale,
small town,
The Walking Dead
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