Saturday, May 7, 2016
The Decision hr568
We all face decisions every day, big or small. It may be as trifling as
what to eat for lunch, but sometimes it is as important as what decides a
course of our life. And the big one often comes abruptly like a
surprise attack when we least expect it, unguarded. I faced the first
crucial decision unexpectedly on my 20th birthday. In Japan, 20 years of
age is regarded as the coming-of-age and there is a custom to celebrate
it. When I was 20 years old, I lived in a big house with my family. My
parents had a hefty fortune inherited by my ancestors as it was before
they failed in their undertaking and lost every thing. For them, my
coming-of-age was such a big event that they had bought an expensive
sash of kimono for me months in advance for a municipal ceremony held in
the first month of the year. Since I defied the custom and didn’t
attend the ceremony for which the sash was wasted, my parents determined
that my 20th birthday should be memorable at least and planned a party.
I wasn’t told about the party because they wanted to surprise me. On my
birthday, I was hanging around and having fun with my friend until
night, not knowing that my parents and my sister waited for me with 20
red roses and expensive steaks cooked and delivered from a restaurant.
As crazy as it sounds, my curfew was 9 p.m. back then. I had too much
fun and broke it that particular day. I came home half an hour late
bracing for a rebuke from my parents. What awaited me was beyond rebuke
actually. I usually came in from the back door that was left unlocked,
but it was locked that night. I went around to the front gate that was
locked too. I thought my father had locked them by mistake and pushed an
intercom button. My mother answered and I asked her to open the door.
She said in a tearful voice, “I can’t. It’s no mistake. Your father shut
you out of the house.” She started crying and continued, “We were
preparing a party and waiting for you from this afternoon. We waited and
waited until your father got furious. He said that he didn’t want you
to come home because you never appreciated this important day and your
family. I can’t open the door. Your father doesn’t want you in this
house any more.” I was astounded at the deep trouble I suddenly got
into. I could have apologized repeatedly and begged her to let me in.
Instead, I was wondering if that was what I really wanted. I didn’t have
anything but now it was a chance to leave the house. Totally out of the
blue, the moment for a decision for life came up. If I lived in this
house forever as a family’s successor like I had been told to, I would
inherit family’s fortune. But if I threw it away, I could do whatever I
want for my own life. In a matter of seconds, I decided. I chose freedom
over money. I said, “That’s fine. I’m leaving.” I felt oddly refreshed
and upbeat. My chained life came to an abrupt end through the intercom.
My mother panicked and shouted, “What do you mean that’s fine? Wait!
Don’t go! I’m coming to open the door! Stay there!” I saw her rushing
out of the house and dashing toward the gate. She grabbed me in. On the
dining table, there were two empty plates that were my father’s and my
sister’s and two untouched steak plates that were my mother’s and mine.
In the center was a big vase with 20 roses. I ate steak with my mother
who was weeping through on my completely ruined 20th birthday. Shortly
afterwards, I eventually left home and became a musician. My mother, my
grandmother and my aunts were married unwillingly for money. My father
and my grandfather gave up what they wanted to do in order to succeed
the family. They all looked unhappy and I didn’t want to live like them.
But I also didn’t know freedom didn’t come cheap and my decision would
lead to trials and hardships that I had to endure as a consequence…