Hidemi's Rambling No.215

I had a dream about my sister last night. In each and every dream about her, she takes my parents away from me. She’s four years younger than I am and I still remember the time when she was born. Although everybody told me that I must have been very happy to become a big sister, I felt gloomy more and more as my mother’s due date was drawing near. I strongly wished my sister would never be born because I knew grown-ups’ attention would leave me. And I was right. She was born to be my parents’ favorite. My mother especially stood by her all the time, both physically and mentally. I was sent away to my grandparents’ room to sleep with them. My mother’s arms and lap were always occupied by my sister and I was constantly driven away to my father. Only consolation for me was my grandfather’s attitude. Because Japan was excessively male-dominated –it still is, in my opinion-, he was bitterly disappointed that his newly born grandchild was a girl again. He kept complaining about it to his neighbor friends, saying ‘It’s no good! A girl again! No good!’ For that matter, he had six grandchildren in all and none of them was a boy. I regard it as a curse. My sister still gets along well with my parents as their favorite, lives with them in my hometown, and they brag about whatever she does while they criticize for whatever I do. To this day, they remain taken away from me by my sister. It can be a good thing for me, though…